Are you under pressure from the Christmas co-illusion?

How many of us think that Christmas will not arrive if we have not done this and that? Or that we will have that fairy tale Christmas they show on postcards if we just do certain things? Can you keep a secret? Christmas will arrive anyway, on December 24 or 25 depending on where you live. And it will be just as marvelous, magic or stressful as we make it.

It is not easy to remind oneself about the two things above, that Christmas comes no matter what and that it is we people who make it wonderful. It is also difficult to not fall into the trap of trying to buy happiness with all those things. In Sweden they even have an ad that says “Tell it with an object” about buying an object that shows love instead of giving a hug and telling people you love them.

So how can we protect ourselves from the stress, hurt feelings and maybe even conflicts that could arise when our white fluffy Christmas card dreams get rained away? There is a form of leadership that could help you stay with your feet on the ground, with joy in your heart and with a calm mind. I look at it through the eyes of the firekeeper, you know that person who is caring for the fire, so it does not fade away and die or gets out of control and turns into a forest fire.

Through the eyes of a firekeeper

Being a firekeeper means to take leadership for the process, for the surrounding and for the climate. A firekeeper plans before the occasion so there is enough wood for the fire, not too much, just enough for the amount of time it is supposed to burn. Do we need all that stuff, all those presents, all the food we bring to our house? How much is enough to keep us happy during these days of celebration? The firekeeper removes all clutter so the purpose of the fire can be easily shown. Looking at why do we celebrate Christmas, what is at the core of the celebration in our family? She invites people to come to the space and communicates the few safety rules for being around the fire, the few principles that surround their being together. He then allows people to do their thing to help with the celebration, mainly just watching and being. Sometimes diving in when a discussion is likely to turn into a wildfire if it does not get extuingished. Maybe reminding about the purpose and the few boundaries they have for their celebration. Sometimes when the fire starts to wane, she adds new wood by offering some glühwein, a cup of tea or a warm hug.

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Acting as a Christmas firekeeper is more a way of being and thinking than of doing. To remember your purpose for the celebration you will need courage and deep breathing. Write the purpose on a piece of paper and put it up where you and all others can see it many times during the day. You might even give it some beauty and frame it. Then give yourself a big hug every morning, look in the mirror, into your eyes and say to yourself: Thank me for being me! Then turn to the Universe and say: Thank you for a new and wonderful day. You will be surprised what difference it makes to say those words each morning.

Be a firekeeper this christmas!

Try to be a firekeeper and see how much joy it can bring to you this year. You are not the white knight that should save the Christmas for all involved and stress yourself out in the process. The joy of this celebration is something everyone creates together and you, as the firekeeper, is there to support people to stay focused on the purpose and find the right balance between doing and being, so they neither get burnt or loose energy. You are the role model that they can adjust towards to make this a memorable Christmas time.

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